A Japanese Wedding
Yesterday I went to a Japanese style wedding. The ceremony was held at a Shinto shrine in downtown Tokyo and was, to say the least, very different from your standard Western wedding. The bride, Cassidy, and groom, Mitsu, were dressed in traditional outfits, with the groom wearing a dark colored traditional male kimono similar to what the Samurai used to wear, and the bride wearing a very formal black kimono with red flowers on it. Her kimono was so intricate that throughout the entire wedding she had someone by her side to properly arrange the various folds of cloth, especially when she needed to walk.
The ceremony began with two female shrine attendants (acolytes?) leading the bride, groom, and family members into the shrine accompanied by the deep bass of the main temple drum. I believe that normally family members only are allowed to witness the ceremony, but since the bride was Canadian American we were allowed to sit in the lower level of the shrine and watch from a distance. The priest began by purifying the participants by waving a wand with jagged paper strips tied to it over their heads. Then they were led into the inner sanctum of the shrine and seated in two rows with the bride and groom between them. Each time the bride had to stand or sit, one of the shrine assistants helped arrange the folds of her kimono so that she could actually walk or sit.
The ceremony was accompanied by musicians playing traditional Japanese instruments, including the shamisen, a long three stringed instrument that is very representative of Japan. There were many rounds of standing and bowing by all involved, some sort of blessing with tree branches, and then finally ceremonial rounds of tea or sake for the family.
After the ceremony, the family was led to the shrine's attached photo studio (I believe they may have done this before) for formal posed photographs. After a while, the guests were invited in as well for a group photograph. The amount of choreographing necessary for this photo was amazing. Just when we thought it was time for a photograph, the photographer's assistant kept coming up and adjusting the shoes of the family members. After some minor shuffling of the guests in back and one collar adjustment, we were ready to have the assistant come up several times to make sure the bride had her hands, feet, torso, and face in proper alignment, not to mention the folds of the kimono. After this, they hustled the bride and groom out into the temple grounds for some posed photographs.
The whole photography affair was quite regimented, and they wouldn't allow time for guests to take photos, or for the bride and groom to take photos with their friends. Apparently this is actually quite common in Japan, as the wedding planners and associated riff-raff have very set ideas of what a wedding should be, and are quite unable to deviate from those ideas. Obviously, this is quite the opposite of what happens in America, where the bride's and/or mother-in-law's every wish is catered to. Cassidy actually had to fight long and hard for several things that she thought were important in her wedding, such as the photos with friends. In fact, she only won this battle by refusing to move on to the next photograph until she had had time to pose with her friends.
A similar battle apparently occurred over the wedding cake. The reception was held at a Wedding Village, and they were insistent that each guest should be served an individual cake, rather than having the cake cut and served at the event. Apparently Cassidy really dug in her heels for this one, but once the staff agreed to cake cutting ceremony, they went all out. The MC ushered all the guests outside where he explained the unusual proceedings in Japanese for those not familiar with the cake cutting. Then, when the bride and groom were ready, the event coordinator cued the cheesy 80's music and waved his white napkin in front of the couple as if it were the start of a 50's drag race. They cut the cake, he whisked the knife away from them and provided them with spoons, and then explained the feeding each other ritual. The actual serving of the cake was quite as amazing, with the server cutting and plating the cake with all the flair and flourish of a Benihana chef. Well, she never actually flipped a piece of cake into the air and caught it in her hat, but the overall effect was quite similar.
The rest of the reception was similarly orchestrated and polished, from the synchronized popping of champagne bottles for the first toast, to the smooth transitions between the numerous speeches and artistic performances (the happy couple apparently have quite a few talented friends). The first speeches were from the bride and groom's immediate superiors at work, and the English speeches were quite interesting. I have the distinct feeling that the Japanese speeches had an entirely different tone. Cassidy's principal at the school where she teaches expressed his undying love for her and wished that he could be 10 years younger so that he could compete with Mitsu for the love of a beautiful Western woman. The foreign crowd was in stitches, but I'm not sure the Japanese people understood exactly what was going on. One of the groom's friend's speeches fit into the typical mold of Western wedding speeches about embarrassing drunken shenanigans. He went on for around 5 minutes in English about Mitsu's apparently frequent tendency to get drunk and fall asleep on the toilet in a bar, but his Japanese speech was quite different, taking about 30 seconds, and merely stating that he had met Mitsu in Australia and practiced English with Cassidy.
The rest of the reception was an amazing mix of Japanese and foreign culture, with performances of traditional Japanese dance, the didgeridoo, and a medley of songs from a quite accomplished American singer who had toured Europe. It really was a beautiful wedding, and everyone was crying at the end. I'm sure that Cassidy and Mitsu can look forward to a long and happy life together.
The ceremony began with two female shrine attendants (acolytes?) leading the bride, groom, and family members into the shrine accompanied by the deep bass of the main temple drum. I believe that normally family members only are allowed to witness the ceremony, but since the bride was Canadian American we were allowed to sit in the lower level of the shrine and watch from a distance. The priest began by purifying the participants by waving a wand with jagged paper strips tied to it over their heads. Then they were led into the inner sanctum of the shrine and seated in two rows with the bride and groom between them. Each time the bride had to stand or sit, one of the shrine assistants helped arrange the folds of her kimono so that she could actually walk or sit.
The ceremony was accompanied by musicians playing traditional Japanese instruments, including the shamisen, a long three stringed instrument that is very representative of Japan. There were many rounds of standing and bowing by all involved, some sort of blessing with tree branches, and then finally ceremonial rounds of tea or sake for the family.
After the ceremony, the family was led to the shrine's attached photo studio (I believe they may have done this before) for formal posed photographs. After a while, the guests were invited in as well for a group photograph. The amount of choreographing necessary for this photo was amazing. Just when we thought it was time for a photograph, the photographer's assistant kept coming up and adjusting the shoes of the family members. After some minor shuffling of the guests in back and one collar adjustment, we were ready to have the assistant come up several times to make sure the bride had her hands, feet, torso, and face in proper alignment, not to mention the folds of the kimono. After this, they hustled the bride and groom out into the temple grounds for some posed photographs.
The whole photography affair was quite regimented, and they wouldn't allow time for guests to take photos, or for the bride and groom to take photos with their friends. Apparently this is actually quite common in Japan, as the wedding planners and associated riff-raff have very set ideas of what a wedding should be, and are quite unable to deviate from those ideas. Obviously, this is quite the opposite of what happens in America, where the bride's and/or mother-in-law's every wish is catered to. Cassidy actually had to fight long and hard for several things that she thought were important in her wedding, such as the photos with friends. In fact, she only won this battle by refusing to move on to the next photograph until she had had time to pose with her friends.
A similar battle apparently occurred over the wedding cake. The reception was held at a Wedding Village, and they were insistent that each guest should be served an individual cake, rather than having the cake cut and served at the event. Apparently Cassidy really dug in her heels for this one, but once the staff agreed to cake cutting ceremony, they went all out. The MC ushered all the guests outside where he explained the unusual proceedings in Japanese for those not familiar with the cake cutting. Then, when the bride and groom were ready, the event coordinator cued the cheesy 80's music and waved his white napkin in front of the couple as if it were the start of a 50's drag race. They cut the cake, he whisked the knife away from them and provided them with spoons, and then explained the feeding each other ritual. The actual serving of the cake was quite as amazing, with the server cutting and plating the cake with all the flair and flourish of a Benihana chef. Well, she never actually flipped a piece of cake into the air and caught it in her hat, but the overall effect was quite similar.
The rest of the reception was similarly orchestrated and polished, from the synchronized popping of champagne bottles for the first toast, to the smooth transitions between the numerous speeches and artistic performances (the happy couple apparently have quite a few talented friends). The first speeches were from the bride and groom's immediate superiors at work, and the English speeches were quite interesting. I have the distinct feeling that the Japanese speeches had an entirely different tone. Cassidy's principal at the school where she teaches expressed his undying love for her and wished that he could be 10 years younger so that he could compete with Mitsu for the love of a beautiful Western woman. The foreign crowd was in stitches, but I'm not sure the Japanese people understood exactly what was going on. One of the groom's friend's speeches fit into the typical mold of Western wedding speeches about embarrassing drunken shenanigans. He went on for around 5 minutes in English about Mitsu's apparently frequent tendency to get drunk and fall asleep on the toilet in a bar, but his Japanese speech was quite different, taking about 30 seconds, and merely stating that he had met Mitsu in Australia and practiced English with Cassidy.
The rest of the reception was an amazing mix of Japanese and foreign culture, with performances of traditional Japanese dance, the didgeridoo, and a medley of songs from a quite accomplished American singer who had toured Europe. It really was a beautiful wedding, and everyone was crying at the end. I'm sure that Cassidy and Mitsu can look forward to a long and happy life together.
posted by Don at 9:08 PM
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